Manager [Scott Leighton]: "Confound the fog. I've gone astray.
Good people, can you kindly say
How I can find my way
To Oxford Street?
A London Manager am I,
And I would have you know
If you will lead me through this fog, my gallant Pierrot,
I'll dress you up in modern things, and put you in my show."

Pierrot [George Rasely]: "We'll gladly set you right, good sir, but we would have you know
That we have very little use for any modern show.
We still haunt all the theatres where we one time held sway,
We find you've not advanced a bit, and we can truly say
There's nothing new."

Manager: "What would you do if you desired to really set the pace of modern shows?"

Pierrot: "There is someone who can help you, who has something up his sleeve,
A Tailor, who is living in the land of Make-Believe.
He's been sewing shows together since the days of Mother Eve."

So they go on their way to the Tailor's Show shop, and the Manager is introduced by Columbine [Rita Lee].

Columbine: "It is at last a Manager who's really up-to-date,
He wants a show that's smartly-cut, and of a pattern new.
And we brought him to your shop to see what you could do."

Tailor [A. W. Baskcomb]: "I've tragedies and tales of other days.
I've comedies and even bedroom plays,
But this crazy patchwork quilt on which I sew,
Might easily suggest a modern show.
For if you take a patch from her and there,
Some modern tunes, some old plaintive air,
A pretty face, a dance, a merry jest,
They have for all mankind some interest.
All kinds of bait will often make great catches,
So why not give variety in patches?"

And it is this we have. Variety in patches. Our illustrations depict the kind of patches, and from them the reader will gain and idea of League of Notions. It is replete with movement and contrast, abounding in song including ‘The Dollies and their Collies’ from the Dolly Sisters, and 'A Young Man's Fancy,' 'Just Snap Your Fingers at Care' 'That Reminiscent Melody' from the Trix Sisters, touched with drama, and revelling in quaint display all of which makes for an evening's pleasant entertainment.

Now let me just show how the turns used to go, On the Music 'Alls of long, long ago.

On the 'Alls' in the 1880s - a song from The League of Notions

It is the "boys of the old brigade" who will be tickled most by the episode "On the 'Alls," in League of Notions. The young gentleman and lady who are so conversant with picture shows have no knowledge of the 'alls which gladdened, more or less, the hearts of their fathers. The "star comique" was then at his zenith. His typical representative was George Leybourne [1842-1884], and one of his most typical songs, "Champagne Charlie is my name," and among the women was Jenny Hill [1851-1896], "The Vital Spark," as she designated herself. But to quote an anonymous writer:

"Perhaps the most deplorable feature in the entertainments was the lady performer. Those terrible young (or middle-aged) persons who were announced as the 'Sisters So-and-So,' and were inevitable on every stage, always succeeded in putting a portion of the audience into a bad temper. Their short coloured skirts, their fixed smirk, the mechanical steps of their dance, their metallic voices - these things have left an impression not pleasant to recall. They couldn't sing; they couldn't dance, and their 'make-up' proved that they couldn't even paint."

The writer is certainly bitter, but, on the whole, he is not far wrong. I can recall there were crowds of other "sisters" who took possession of the minor 'alls, as alike as two peas in their inanity and vulgarity. The Oxford was the first of the big 'alls in the West End. The songs with two meanings or no meaning at all ceased to attract. Men began to take their wives to the halls, where smoking was allowed, and woman's influence soon made possible the Coliseum and Palladium, which are the modern equivalent of the 'alls that are travestied in League of Notions. The travesty certainly makes for the enjoyment of those who "saw life" half a century ago, and to whom the majestic and rubicund chairman was a person of mystery and high degree, until they were introduced and measured their pockets against the cubic dimension of his throat. Today we have a cleaner taste in our amusements, and I, for one, would not change League of Notions for the best of the "Lion-Comiques" and Serio-Comic ladies of the late Victorian era.'
(B. W. Findon)